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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. - George Burns
Friday, September 30, 2005
State of Tears
I’ll go ahead and fill in a post, too, with another terrifying glimpse into Illinois politics:
Only a day after learning that Governor Blagojevich’s personal goons are now doing big business with former Ba’athists who have big stakes in French banks, proving the “Nexus” theory, many of us were filled with sadness to learn that former Governor Jim Edgar (R), who was once considered second only to Michael Jordan in Illinois-wide popularity, will not take up the challenge of running against Governor Capone in 2006. I don’t much blame him, since being caught up in the catastrophe that is Springfield today is an affliction, not a blessing, and life is good for Jim now that he’s retired. I’m proud a good statesman entertained the notion as long as he did, but this is a hugely depressing day, because while I’ll probably be endorsing Jim Oberweis for Governor, the odds are that liberal, corrupt state treasurer Judy Baar Topinka, will get the Illinois GOP nomination. She’s the former head of the Illinois Republican Party who is constantly bragging giddily about how much she did to “rebuild” the party, oblivious to how incredibly sad a state it must be in that she is our A Team. With Blagojevich’s approval ratings lower than Governor Blanco’s, she may win, and dance around naked in the moonlit courtyard of the Executive Mansion cloaked in human skins like Hannibal Lecter.
Choosing between keeping Blagojevich and putting Topinka in the big chair would be like arguing the difference between Satan and Lucifer. Maybe we should just run Alan Keyes again. It’s game over, man. I predict that the “tax swap”, designed with a shellgame formula that happens to jack up our taxes by about 30%, will pass before 2008. Then? The Illinois Civil War.
I’d like to make a prediction that Serenity will not only be number-one at the box office by the end of the weekend, but that it’ll kick some serious ass as well.
Does anyone care to comment?
Update: Okay, okay, I understand that I might have overstepped my bounds by posting after the fact that Lee has arrived back in the good ol’ U.S. of A. But hey, he’s knocked-out and tripping the life fantastic because of NyQuil and Chlortrimeton-D --- someone has to provide the Right Thinkers with some reading material to rant about!
Green Death Fucking Flavor
Sorry for the lack of posting, I’ve been zonked out on cold pills and NyQuil. In lieu of a new post I’ll leave you with Denis Leary’s hilarious bit about NyQuil.
I skipped the Sudafed. I’m on NyQuil and Contac Cold+Flu. And, yes, I drank the original green death fucking flavor.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Ugh. 7am and no sleep. I’m going to try and get some sack time.
Update: Oh my God. I look and feel like shit. I slept all day and just woke up. I’ve turned into… JimK!
I’ll admit right at the onset that I don’t know the specifics of the DeLay case other than what I’ve read in the papers today, but here are my initial thoughts. The guy is probably guilty as hell. He’s a power broker, and all power brokers are guilty as hell of this sort of thing. From what I’ve heard of the prosecutor he’s had a hard-on for DeLay for quite some time, so I don’t think for a second that this is without political motivation. That being said, Clinton’s impeachment was politically motivated; that didn’t make him any less guilty as hell of what he was charged with.
I’m just so disgusted by the entire GOP these days. The opportunity they had to do so much good and they totally pissed it all away. And before I get any of the usual bullshit comments about me turning into a liberal, the reason I’m disgusted by the Republicans is precisely because I’m a conservative, at least one in the traditional sense. Ronald Reagan once famously said that he didn’t leave the Democratic party, the Democratic party left him. Well, that dynamic still exists today and it’s just as valid. Let me put it this way, if someone could invent a way to harness the energy generated by a spinning body, hooking one up to the Gipper would supply our nation’s energy needs for the foreseeable future.
Just to let you all know up front, if any of you are expecting me to issue some kind of a heated defense of DeLay in the face of a partisan attack by them durn liberals you’re going to be sorely disappointed. He’s entitled to the presumption of innocence like anyone else, and if he’s found not guilty then so be it. But my gut feeling is that he’s the glinting hood ornament for everything that is wrong with the GOP these days, and if he takes a fall for it you’re not going to see me losing any sleep.
Quote of the Day
"If the Constitution says that the little guy should win, then the little guy’s going to win in the court before me. But if the Constitution says that the big guy should win, well then the big guy’s going to win because my obligation is to the Constitution.”
—Future Chief Justice John Roberts.
(No wonder the liberals hate him.)
Back With A Vengeance
Well, I can’t sleep, so I’ve been surfing the international papers, seeing what the hell is going on in the world. I happened on everyone’s favorite UK birdcage liner, the Guardian, and was treated to three articles on the current global warming hysteria, and I figured I’d drop a few comments to get back in the swing of things. First there was this one, which—of course—blames the hurricanes on global warming.
Therein lies the rub. The doomsayers wail that global warming will result in terrible storms. So then we have a couple of terrible storms, and it’s aha! This, of course, does nothing to explain all the other terrible storms that have ravaged the Gulf Coast region over the past few centuries. In order for there to be a determination of a cause-and-effect there has to be a demonstrable trend. Looking at these two storms as indisputable evidence of the effects of global warming is roughly akin to looking at the temperature on Monday, then claiming that since it was warmer on Tuesday and Wednesday it’s scientific evidence of a warming trend. It’s horseshit. And the fact that a major player at the UN would actually claim this pseudoscientific drivel as evidence of his agenda is nothing more than justification for ignoring everything else the tard has to say.
Then there was this idiocy from (who else) but Congressional Republicans.
I’ve read the book, and it’s a great read. And Crichton most definitely has a point to make, which I think he makes well: that the current political hysteria surrounding global warming is thwarting the very scientific process its proponents claim to represent. This isn’t to say that the data the scientists collect is necessarily inaccurate, only that the conclusions drawn from those data are political in nature and designed specifically to further a radical environmentalist/ant-capitalist/anti-corporate/anti-American agenda. Indeed, Crichton is quoted in the article thus: “In closing, I want to state emphatically that nothing in my remarks should be taken to imply that we can ignore our environment, or that we should not take climate change seriously. On the contrary, we must dramatically improve our record on environmental management. That’s why a focused effort on climate science, aimed at securing sound, independently verified answers to policy questions, is so important now.”
We need a solid debate on the merits of global warming, minus the left’s “the planet is doomed” histrionics and the right’s “biggest hoax ever perpetrated” nonsense. Here’s the facts as they are right now, and they are absolutely indisputable.
1. The Earth is getting warmer.
The fact that our Congress is still, in the face of utterly unarguable data, claiming that global warming is not happening shows that the politicization of science goes both ways. It’s beyond asinine that this is even still being debated, but that’s politics for you. What we need to do is just concede these two indisputable facts and concentrate on the real issues at hand, which is where the left is really flexing its muscles.
3. Exactly how much warmer is the Earth getting?
While numbers 1 and 2 are indisputable, 3 through 5 are nothing more than speculation and guesswork based on flawed computer models, and this is where critics of global warming should be focused like a laser beam. This is where we can put the doomsday scenarios’ proponents on the defensive. Think of it like a criminal trial. If you’re a defense attorney and you’re looking to shoot holes in the prosecution’s case, you can bore the shit out of the jury arguing over every miniscule detail or you can bring out the big guns and knock five or six holes in their case so big that the whole rest of it collapses. Then there are other avenues we should be exploiting as well.
6. Of the political solutions proposed, most notably the Kyoto treaty, exactly how much direct benefit will this have on the immediate issue of global warming?
Again, these are very legitimate issues on which global climate change can be addressed, debated, and negotiated in a scientific, logical manner. Simply plugging our ears and denying the obvious is as intellectually dishonest as the wailing emotional douchebaggery that we get from the eco-nuts.
And speaking of wailing emotional douchebaggery, we get to this column, written by some American guy who couldn’t make my point better if he tried. Here’s a few choice quotes.
Note the scary, loaded phraseology: We “don’t give a damn”; SUV’s are a “death engine”; “Spewing.” It’s purely emotional, the kind of thing I’d expect from a 14 year old girl trying to explain to her parents why she just has to get a nose job or she’ll just die. The idea that SUVs are responsible for global climate change is preposterous, even if you accept as true every single thing that the environmentalist lunatics are claiming. SUV’s have been around for, as the author himself admits, roughly a generation, twenty years or so. Does he honestly expect us to believe that in two decades the cars driven by Americans have “spewed” enough emissions on their own to change the climate? Think about this for a second. Greenhouse gases are emitted through all kinds of processes, not just car exhaust. Which would have more effect on the global climate, the exhaust from SUVs or, say, the gases emitted by China and India in any given year. Remember that in this same “generation” time period both of these countries, not to mention South Korea and the Asian region as a whole, have gone through astonishing periods of economic growth. With the liberalization of markets and the growth of the global economy, this has created an ever-increasing demand for industrial products, the creation and use of which causes greenhouse gases to be emitted into the atmosphere.
Let me illustrate this for you. Think of the world as an obese person, whose condition has a multitude of causes, among them genetics, poor eating habits, a sedentary lifestyle, and so on. Claiming that SUVs are causing global warming would be like claiming that this person’s obesity is caused by his consumption of peanut M&Ms, and if he’d just stop eating those damn peanut M&Ms, well, he’d be down to his former svelte self in no time. It’s idiotic.
Is the Earth indeed “crying out for help”? It seems to me that the Earth has been here for a hell of a lot longer than SUVs have, and it will be here for a lot longer than they will, too. But the environmentalist left, because its entire argument is based on melodramatic teenage staginess, requires the Earth to be viewed in these terms. (This is exactly the same reason they need to view soldiers in Iraq as “children”, but that’s a subject for another post entirely.) The simple answer to the question is exactly what I outlines above in points 3 through 10.
It’s quite easy to counter the tantrums of the lunatic left, we just need to get a hell of a lot smarter about doing it. Denying the problem (are you listening, President Bush?) and inviting fiction writers to testify (are you listening, Congress?) aren’t going to do jack shit. If you’re going to fight, fight smart and fight to win. I wish that was a lesson that this administration took to heart in more of its affairs.
Well, I made it back alive. I’ve spent the day sitting around doing nothing, peppered with bouts of partial unpacking. Oh, and I’m sick as a fucking dog, too. I caught a cold or bronchitis or something a couple of days ago and I feel like total shit. So not only will I be taking a couple of days to get over my jetlag, but now I have this to deal with. Lovely.
And on a totally unrelated note, what happened to Manwhore’s post about the woman who was fired for blogging?
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Stop Laughing, It’s Mean
More random anecdotes: I had to go with my father to visit a family friend today. On the way, we had to pass through a pretty sleazy trailer park (pardon me, “mobile home estate"), where out of the alley came the filthiest, scraggliest cat I’ve ever seen in my life.
“Whoa,” I said, as the cat turned to stare at us, slack-jawed with a face like an owl, skeletal and covered with matted fur.
My father takes a look and says “Wow, yeah, he doesn’t look like he’s doing too good. He’s pretty down on his luck: He has to live off the trash of trailer trash.”
“I’ll bet even the other alley cats look down on him.”
“If you were a cat, would you hang out with him?”
“Nope. I’ll bet he hasn’t been petted in years. His girlfriend left him last year because he couldn’t afford the rising cost of cat-health insurance.”
“Sometimes he just sits alone in the dark, drinking from a half-empty bottle of malt liquor he found in the garbage.”
At this point, we burst into tears of laughter for some reason. Well, it was funny to us, anyway.
Another Log on the Fire
Just to kick comments into high gear, I present yet another rigorous testing that the Theory of Evolution has been put through, and from which it emerged with flying colors.
Good thing it’s just a “Theory”, though, eh?
Posted by Drumwaster on 09/28/05 at 03:17 PM in Science and Technology • (0) Trackbacks • Permalink •
I’d like to remind the anchors, editors, readers, conspiracy theorists, knuckleheads, and everyone else who is frothing at the mouth that Tom DeLay’s indictment only means that a Grand Jury believes there is enough evidence to proceed to trial.
It does not mean there has been a trial, and that he’s been tried and convicted.
Yes, there are other benefits to law school. People who like to comment and pretend to be lawyers should really give it a shot.
And while we’re on the subject, how come the phrase “innocent until proven guilty” has become so subjective lately that it can be attached and detached as people see fit?
Updates to follow.
Good-night sweethearts, well, it’s time to go…
Since I know there is no way I’ll be posting again before Lee retakes control of his madhouse (I actually have something to do, it’s like a miracle)...let me take this time to speak to you fine, fine people.
Bowser from Sha-Na-Na was a god to me.
No, wait...wrong speech. Sorry. What I meant to say was I love assplay. The way it feels, the way it smell/////...no...wait. That’s not it either.
Fuck. See, I intended to come in here and say something nice and not be a foul-mouthed little punk, but unfortunately, it’s in my blood. You can’t fight genetics, people. You can try, and maybe you’ll create a race of supermen who are bigger and faster and stronger, but something will have to give, like they’ll all look like Oliver Platt or they have huge vaginas or something. What I’m saying is you have to give to get.
Wait, what the hell was that? Oliver Platt and huge vaginas? I’m so far off topic. Oh screw it. Thanks for the ride, kids, and I apologize if I offended anyone. Except stogy. stogy I still want to see bleeding from the ass in the bathroom of the D Block in Pelican Bay. I see it as an overhead crane shot, slowly pulling up from the tears streaming down stogy’s face, slowly pulling up, ever up, tracking the flow of blood as it mixes with the shower water on the cold, white tile, spiraling toward the drain, and oblivion.
Wow. That was moving and powerful. I’m so talented. Which, of course, you can see for yourself should you deign to stop by my various homes on the interw3bs… Right Thoughts for all your bloggy rant-type needs, Moorewatch for...well, watching Michael Moore & related topics, and my baby, my little jewel, the most repulsive thing I have ever birthed...The Starkcast, a weekly “comedy” and rant podcast. I use the term “comedy” loosely, after all I’m mentally ill, not stuck on stupid.
I’d say “peace out” but peace is a pipe dream. Just keep your weapons clean and oiled, and make sure you have plenty of singles for tips. You can make the dancers do a lot more for twenty singles than you can for a twenty dollar bill.
Wolf Blitzer Has A New Show
If only Mayor Nagin had been one of the faithful. During a break, they apparently ran trailers for upcoming Islamic movies, such as Mousslim Mouwaheed’s “Total Jihad”.
That’s Some High Quality H2O Down There In Lake Pontchartrain
National period of sensitivity expires: TBS is running “The Waterboy” twice tonight, I’d forgotten how hilariously cruel this movie is to Louisiana. Suffice it to say, poor old Mayor Nagin isn’t going down in popular culture with Rudy Giuliani. In fact, the whole state seems to be run by looters.
That’s, what, well over $1,000 from every taxpaying American? Even Michael Brown is coming back from the grave to put the blame where it belongs.
Jefferson, who had already had his home and office raided by the feds for apparent securities fraud, was the same guy who diverted rescue resources (including two squads of National Guardsmen, a helicopter, and two trucks) to help him get his stuff out of his flooded house. I’d say the dysfunction of Louisiana’s public servants is not just a strong explanation, it’s an incredibly generous way to describe them. Sadly, it’s like a parody of a real state.
OMFG! Can You Pass Up a Troll Love Affair? No, Can You!!?
Lee’s banning of a couple of trolls has created a love affair. Look at this.
Tha Menses and DeadTissue now mingle. Could Pepe Le Pew be any more proud of the odor?
Sorry, couldn’t help this one. I know Lee should get a chuckle.
Christ are some things so f@cking funny. Lee, welcome back to your rightful position as ‘Lord of the Pigs!’
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