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Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Must See TV
The latest foreign reality show to be ripped off by US television is something called Thank God You’re Here.
Okay, this could be an interesting premise, if only because comedic actors working without comedy writers can be gold, Jerry, gold! A comedic actor needs to have an excellent sense of timing and delivery, but unless they have some kind of history of improv they’re funny reading someone else’s words.
As I was watching the commercial for this then, I got to thinking how great if would be if Michael Richards was one of the guest celebrities. He could come out, get flustered a minute or two into his improv routine, then just start calling everyone a nigger. An entire hour where Michael Richards calls everyone a nigger, including white and Asian cast members. Fran Drescher comes in dressed like a nurse, pushing Erik Estrada in a wheelchair. “Doctor!” she says to Richards. “This man took too much Viagara and he’s had an erection for 16 hours!” Richards looks at her and says, “Shut up, nigger. And you, you know what your problem is? You’re a nigger in a wheelchair. Now, nurse, take this nigger home, or I’ll hang you from a tree with a fork in your ass.”
THAT, my friends, would be a show worth watching! Someone get me a pitch meeting…
It’s the latest Australian gun control success!
In the US, the second he raised the axe in a threatening manner he would have taken six in the chest. This is, unfortunately, just the latest example of rising knife- and blade-related violence in Australia since they enacted their draconian gun control laws.
I accidentally just deleted a bunch of people who signed up to get permission to comment. If you signed up in the past week or so and you just got an email from this blog telling you that your account had been deleted, or if you still can’t post for whatever reason, please try registering again.
Sorry about that, I literally hit one button incorrectly.
Check out the political hagiography of George Clooney in today’s LA Times.
Wow, two whole newspapers! And he reads columnists! My God, this should qualify George Clooney as Emperor of the Universe! I mean, anyone who actually reads two newspapers has to be some kind of fucking übergenius.
Here’s a little reality check for George Clooney. I read about 6 newspapers a day, I subscribe to 5 different political magazines from all parts of the political spectrum, I read maybe 30 or 40 blogs regularly, I’ve written a blog continually for five years while simultaneously working 70 hours a week, and I still don’t hold myself in a fraction of the smug “My shit doesn’t stink” self-esteem that you do.
Update: This was, of course, parodied beautifully in Team America, when that intellectual midget Janeane Garofalo says:
Much like Janeane, George Clooney also subscribes to two newspapers and can quote top political columnists.
Free Market Theft
And now I’m off to meet with the guy doing my income taxes. Let’s see how much Uncle Sam will be stealing from me this year. Gulp.
So, for now, consider this yet another open thread.
Update: Well, I made out okay. Not as much of a refund as last year but still pretty reasonable.
Meeting the Meeters
I’m heading off to an early morning meeting up in Glendale, so consider this an open post. Rock out wit’cho bad self.
Friday, March 30, 2007
The Gift of Life
Over at Captain’s Quarters Ed Morrisey’s “First Mate” is getting a kidney transplant. As someone whose father died needing a heart transplant I can empathize completely. If you’re a religious person please say a little extra prayer for a speedy recovery without complications.
And, most importantly of all, if you’re not an organ donor, what the hell is wrong with you? Take a moment, right now, and give the gift of life. If you happen to die tomorrow, wouldn’t you want something good to come from it? Wouldn’t you want someone else to benefit from the tragedy of your premature demise?
I’m becoming emotional and choked up as I write this. I can’t think of anything more compassionate, more selfless, and more humanitarian than being an organ donor. YOU’RE DEAD, what the hell do you need those organs for? Take a moment, print out the card, and know that if you happen to die unexpectedly you will give the precious gift of life to someone else. As someone who had to make the agonizing decision to switch a parent off life support, please, don’t make someone else go through that.
Do it. Now.
65 Years Ago
Here’s something I bet you didn’t know. On March 30, 1942, Speaker of the House Sam Rayburn of Texas visited Adolf Hitler in Germany to try and work out common ground. Rather than the stick of war Rayburn was interested in the carrot of diplomatic negotiation. During his European visit he also visited fascist Italy, then addressed the parliament of Great Britain.
Bet you didn’t know this, did you? That’s because it never happened.
Look, folks, this is really simple. What bothers me is that Pelosi is legitimizing the Syrian regime by making an official visit. That’s the job of the State Dept, to officially represent the United States on the world stage. (Let’s ignore for a moment that our president has been using the Assad regime to torture innocent Canadians. Oops.)
I mean, agree or disagree with the “carrot versus stick” approach, this is totally inappropriate. If Pelosi wants to go over and lick Assad’s balls she should wait until the Democrats are in the White House again, then she can do whatever the hell the president authorizes. Visiting allies is one thing, playing kissy-face with our enemies is another thing entirely.
The Prescience of Chuck D
As you have no doubt heard, Hollywood is on fire. Here’s the photo from Drudge.
The interesting thing is that I can see the Hollywood sign, this very hill, on my way home from work. Since I, being the capitalist slave I am, won’t be going home until at least 9:00 tonight, I might be able to catch a cool long-distance fire shot. Of course, since my phone is a RAZR and its camera is a complete piece of shit, don’t expect anything wonderful. If I have anything interesting to post I’ll do so later on. I just hope that not too many homes get destroyed.
(Also, 10 Super Awesome Obscure Pop-Culture Points if you get the title to this post.)
Having solved its crime and corruption problems, the city of Chicago is going after the true criminal scum in its midst.
I wish this guy sold these hotdogs online, I’d buy one in a second. I can’t imagine that foie gras would taste all that good encased in a sausage with ground up cow anus, but I’d give it a bite just on general principle.
Posted by Lee on 03/30/07 at 06:16 PM in Decline of Western Civilization • (0) Trackbacks • Permalink •
Roll Them Bones
Somewhere in America William Bennett just got a stiffy.
I can only imagine President Bush’s reaction upon hearing the news. “They did what? Oh man, Dobson’s gonna have a shit fit. Karl, get Gonzo on the phone and ask him if I have the power to fire the WTO. And if I don’t, tell him to figure out some way to let me do it anyway.”
There’s No Compassion In Baseball!
I’ve always loved baseball. I played little league from tee-ball all the way up to the senior leagues when I was in the 10th grade. As many of you know, I grew up in various locales all over the world. I did 4th through 6th grade in Stavager, Norway. The American community there formed its own little league, and I played every year.
The problem was that, since there were only a limited number of kids to choose from, the age ranges on the teams was quite large. You’d have kids going from the 4th grade to the 8th grade on the same team, for example, and there is a world of difference in size, strength, and athletic ability between a 9 year old and a 13 year old. Naturally the older kids played the important positions—pitcher, first base, and so on. I’d get up to bat and I’d have a kid four years older than me throwing balls that there was no way I could hit. So, for almost the entire season, I struck out every time. In my 5th grade year I got one hit, just one, and I was thrown out at first. (The shortstop and first baseman were both older than me.)
And man, did this hurt. I remember sitting in the parking lot with my mom crying my eyes out, because I wasn’t getting to hit. I loved playing the game, but like any kid I wanted to play more and do more and get more hits and get more wins. It was disheartening to say the least. But still, I was out there every game, and I played. And I think that the lessons I learned from doing so have stayed with me my whole life. With that in mind, Dennis Prager has a must-read column up at Town Hall which touches on this very subject.
Trust me on this one, read the whole thing.
Posted by Lee on 03/30/07 at 10:50 AM in Decline of Western Civilization • (1) Trackbacks • Permalink •
Reason discusses the ongoing beatification process for the late Pope John Paul II.
Sadly, all too true. I was a great fan of the late pope. For the majority of my life he was “the” pope, and when he died it was in many ways like losing a family member. But, come on. The way they’re bending all their own rules to get him admitted into the Super Awesome Club is pretty disgraceful.
John Paul II’s life and legacy are great enough that the Vatican shouldn’t need to use tricks and points of parliamentary procedure. He earned what he earned, there’s no need to rush it.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
The Shortest Straw
There’s a few new options in the PJM Straw Poll: Ron Paul and Fred Thompson. Or, you can pick from your favorite theocon. Now that there’s a few new options to choose from, click on the link and pick your favorite.
Texas should just change its name to The Punisher.
In other words, if you want to be a criminal, your best bet is to move to a state full of bleeding heart liberal pussies like California or Massachusetts.
If this is true (and it is) then the inverse must also be true: sympathy for violent offenders and criminals in general runs high in California, underscored by the fact that virtually nobody, not even the most hardened gang member, is executed here. And when the state finally gets around to executing one of these examples of subhuman social vermin, the usual group of wailing left-wing pussies like Sean Penn and Mike Farrell will be outside the gates of San Quentin whining about how unfair and barbaric it all is.
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