Right Thinking From The Left Coast
The Government is merely a servant -- merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them. - Mark Twain

Boxing Helen
by Lee

Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease…

Veteran wire reporter Helen Thomas is vowing to ‘kill herself’ if Dick Cheney announces he is running for president.

The newspaper HILL first reported the startling claim on Thursday.

MORE

“The day Dick Cheney is going to run for president, I’ll kill myself,” she told the HILL. “All we need is one more liar.”

Thomas added, “I think he’d like to run, but it would be a sad day for the country if he does.”

Here’s what Cheney should do.  He should stand up, announce his candidacy, and wait for Helen Thomas to kill herself.  Then he should announce that he’s not going to run.  Of course, if Alec Baldwin won’t move to France, we wouldn’t be able to get Thomas to commit suicide.  But, seeing has how she’s 146 years old, we’re only going to have to wait a few years for nature to take its course.

Posted by Lee on 07/28/05 at 03:19 PM (Discuss this in the forums)

Comments


Posted by on 07/28/05 at 04:24 PM from United States

What liberal media bias?

Posted by on 07/28/05 at 04:26 PM from United States

HAhahaha omg hahaha she’s a trip.  She really needs to retire and get that nasty disposition exorcised out of her.

Posted by on 07/28/05 at 04:38 PM from United States

Dick Cheney? Actually, the accu-weather forecast for presidents is more like this:
Hillary in ‘08
Jeb Bush in 2016
Chelsea in 2024
Bush Twins 1st team presidency in 2032

At some point, there will be male heirs and much speculation as to whether the 2 families will join forces via marriage, but I’m not going to comment on that because that would be getting ahead of myself.

Posted by Drumwaster on 07/28/05 at 04:39 PM from United States

You’re right, I think he should announce just to call her bluff…

Then blogs (excuse me, “Citizen Journalists") should call her a coward for not following through.

Posted by on 07/28/05 at 04:50 PM from United States

By the way that was the most disturbing movie I have ever seen.

Posted by on 07/28/05 at 04:57 PM from United States

That’s a woman?!?!?!

Posted by West Virginia Rebel on 07/28/05 at 04:57 PM from United States

She’s senile. Whatever was left upstairs died a long time ago.

Posted by LandoGriffin on 07/28/05 at 05:04 PM from United States

That’s a woman?!?!?!

I thought was a picture of Quasimodo

There are few people I loathe but this hag is one of em. Just hearing her voice at the press conferences and her “unbiased approach” sickens me. If nature or a Cheney announcement won’t do her in I might just have to put a jihad on her.

Of course, if Alec Baldwin won’t move to France,

you are useress Arec Bawrin, you are useress Arec Bawrin…

Posted by on 07/28/05 at 05:32 PM from United States

She’s just pissy because she can’t sit up front anymore.

Posted by on 07/28/05 at 06:12 PM from United States

Evil doesn’t die - if you don’t believe that, try to explain how so many bastard mother-in-laws stick around for decades after their husband dies.

Posted by on 07/28/05 at 06:16 PM from United States

Evil doesn’t die - if you don’t believe that, try to explain how so many bastard mother-in-laws stick around for decades after their husband dies.

LMFAO!!!!!

Posted by on 07/28/05 at 06:53 PM from United States

the joke’s on Cheney—she already died 7 years ago.  Don’t believe me? Shake her hand.

Posted by on 07/28/05 at 07:05 PM from United States

Can you imagine if Helen Thomas and Susan Estrich had a child together?

That kid would have the deadliest voice in the history of mankind.

Posted by on 07/28/05 at 07:10 PM from United States

Why do left wing liberals think we care what they will do if so and so runs or is elected. Do they really think that is going to change someone’s mind, “Oh my gosh, Helen Thomas is going to kill herselft if Cheney runs, I am going to call and ask Cheney not to run.” Get over yourself, who do they think they are?

Posted by Drumwaster on 07/28/05 at 07:13 PM from United States

Can you imagine if Helen Thomas and Susan Estrich had a child together?

I thought they already had

Posted by mikeguas on 07/29/05 at 03:03 AM from United States

This from a former Whitehouse correspondent. And who says the media isn’t bias. Fuck her. I hope Cheney runs just so she dies. And who is she to call anyone a liar. Clean up your own industry you old fucking haggard bitch. I hope I didn’t go to soft on her. What a cunt.

Posted by on 07/29/05 at 08:49 AM from United States

Cheney: I have decided to run for President in the 2008 election.

Crowd of reporters: (sharp intake of air)

Cheney (handing Helen Thomas a knife): Come on Helen, I kept up my end of the bargain.

Posted by on 07/29/05 at 01:33 PM from United States

Just once I’d like to see the President interrupt her at the beginning of her tirade and ask, “Helen, do you have a question for me?  Because if not, this is my press conference, and I’d like to get on with answereing questions.  If you have something to share with the media, please schedule a press conference of your own.”.

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