Right Thinking From The Left Coast
Do, or do not. There is no 'try'. - Yoda

Kristmas Koffee Krap
by Lee

Ugh.  It’s Christmas, which means that for the next month we’re going to be subject to that horrible Folger’s commercial that they’ve been running since the 1980s.  You know the one, where the kid in the letter jacket gets out of the cab, and the little Aryan girl comes down the steps.  “Peter!” Then the two of them go into the kitchen, make Folgers coffee, which then wakes the family up to find that Peter made it home for the holidays.

Seriously, this commercial makes me want to take my own life.  I hate it.

Posted by Lee on 11/30/05 at 12:02 AM (Discuss this in the forums)

Comments


Posted by on 11/30/05 at 01:13 AM from Canada

Agreed.  And it makes me wonder why they don’t have a Halloween version of this commercial, Menendez style (I mean Lyle and Erik Menendez).  You know Lyle comes home from a hard day of tennis, Erik comes out says, “Lyle….. We have to be quite”.  They go in the house, brew up a pot ‘o’ Folgers coffee, and when the yawing parents come down in their PJ’s they both meet the business end of a pump-action 12 gauge shot gun.  Queue music “the best part of waking up……..

Posted by Galt1138 on 11/30/05 at 01:14 AM from United States

No, you should take the lives of the advertising company that made the commercial, the ad department of Folgers, the writers of the commercial, the director, the actors, and any network and/or TV station that sold ad time to air it.

Besides, that cofee sucks.

Posted by Galt1138 on 11/30/05 at 01:16 AM from United States

Uh, and so does the coffee. Preview is your friend.

Posted by Loud on 11/30/05 at 02:21 AM from United States

Lee, I remember you dogging on this commercial last year, about a month or so after I found your site for the first time.  Thanks for the new tradition (to replace the Folgers commercial itself).

Posted by Loud on 11/30/05 at 02:30 AM from United States

Last year’s rant, right here.  Now, it’s not Christmas until this commercial pisses Lee off.

Posted by HARLEY on 11/30/05 at 04:35 AM from United States

I don’t know how any one can drink coffee, vile stuff, smells good, tastes like used motor oil.
Yeah taht commercial is frelling annoying…

Posted by InsipiD on 11/30/05 at 05:36 AM from United States

I’m not sure but that the one (again several years old) that one of my friends and I called the “crappapella” song.  It was crap-tastic.

Posted by on 11/30/05 at 06:12 AM from United States

Yeah taht commercial is frelling annoying…

...I’m sorry, but did you just curse in the language of Farscape?

Posted by on 11/30/05 at 07:21 AM from United States

Gee, Lee...why don’t you tell us how you really feel?  Heh.

Folger’s sucks ass.

Posted by on 11/30/05 at 07:28 AM from United States

OTOH, It’s far superior to the stuff the navy issues in 10 gallon cans.

Posted by on 11/30/05 at 07:49 AM from United States

Harely in insane - coffee is the elixir of life and must be consumed in mass quantities or civilization will collapse within hours.

Just where are you getting all this “motor oil” coffee?  Starbucks?

Posted by on 11/30/05 at 08:08 AM from United States

Then the two of them go into the kitchen, make Folgers coffee, which then wakes the family up to find that Peter made it home for the holidays.

Ah yes, adfantasyland, where men buy their wives new cars with bows on them for Christmas and people shove whole pizzas into toasters.

The advertising industry is full of people who think they’re creative.

Posted by on 11/30/05 at 08:25 AM from United States

Ahh, don’t pick on Harley, he just hasn’t had his coffee yet! 

And I think the commercial was kind of sappy myself.

Lee, I am constantly amused at what annoys you.

Posted by on 11/30/05 at 08:27 AM from United States

Ah yes, adfantasyland, where men buy their wives new cars with bows on them for Christmas and people shove whole pizzas into toasters.

Seriously, I saw that stupid commercial the other night.  My husband and I looked at each other and just said “are they fucking serious?”.  I mean I guess if you live on LaLa land maybe…

Posted by on 11/30/05 at 09:18 AM from United States

Besides, that cofee sucks.

That Kofi sucks, too.

Folgers is still #1 in sales.  The reason the commercial hasn’t changed is that they are still sellling the batch of “crystrals” the made when the commercial first aired.

hot blue MILF plant-chick, yummy

Posted by on 11/30/05 at 10:28 AM from United States

Lee, what do you think of Starbucks Christmas Blend? I have an Eggnog Latte the first time I’m by a Starbucks after Thanksgiving. It tastes kind of yucky, but that’s part of the charm. The beverage encapsulates the joy, the zest and the spirit of the celebration, and sends a message to those around you that you are thoughtful, intelligent, and Christmas aware.

Posted by mikeguas on 11/30/05 at 11:15 AM from United States

The diamond commercials are even worse. It’s always some hot chick depressed about something, then the guy walks up and opens up the little case to show the little rock he got her, and she gets that big smile. All the while you know she’s thinking this means an even a bigger rock from the rich guy she’s banging on the side.

Posted by on 11/30/05 at 11:20 AM from United States

I suppose that on the bright side, these two weren’t related.

I always think of the Diamond commercial from Family guy! Because now she has too! or something like that..

Posted by on 11/30/05 at 11:22 AM from United States

Lee, what do you think of Starbucks Christmas Blend? I have an Eggnog Latte the first time I’m by a Starbucks after Thanksgiving. It tastes kind of yucky, but that’s part of the charm. The beverage encapsulates the joy, the zest and the spirit of the celebration, and sends a message to those around you that you are thoughtful, intelligent, and Christmas aware.

I’m a fan of the gingerbread latte, myself. Less disgusting, just as likely to piss off the self-righteous. It’s fun in a cup, with whipped cream on top!

Posted by on 11/30/05 at 12:17 PM from United States

Lee,

What happened to your TIVO?  You aren’t supposed to be watching commercials.

Posted by Lee on 11/30/05 at 12:33 PM from United States

What happened to your TIVO?  You aren’t supposed to be watching commercials.

TiVo only works if you’re watching a recorded show and have something to fast-forward through.  If you’re watching the show live you’re screwed.

Posted by Miguelito on 11/30/05 at 01:02 PM from United States

Haha… I just thought of that commercial the other day when some other random Christmas themed commercial came on as I did the dishes.

Posted by Miguelito on 11/30/05 at 01:07 PM from United States

Now, it’s not Christmas until this commercial pisses Lee off.

For me, it’s not Christmas until I watch A Christmas Story at least once… :)

and..

TiVo only works if you’re watching a recorded show and have something to fast-forward through.  If you’re watching the show live you’re screwed.

Which is why anytime I find a show that’s interesting, I’ll start recording it, watch something else recorded until enough of a buffer has built up, then go back to the new show from the start of the recording.  I just can’t take live TV anymore.

Posted by Akula on 11/30/05 at 01:13 PM from United States

That fucking Budweiser commercial they resurected from the 70’s is pretty shitty too.

Posted by on 11/30/05 at 01:13 PM from United States

Not to nitpick (too much), but a true Aryan is not of German or Scandanavian descent but is most likely of Persian (Indo-Iranian) descent.

Posted by on 11/30/05 at 01:37 PM from United States

Miguelito:  Ditto on building the buffer, although I can’t stand “The Christmas Story”.  I prefer the old Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph Christmas Specials.

Posted by on 11/30/05 at 02:29 PM from United States

I do miss the Norelco Santa sled commercial.

Posted by on 11/30/05 at 02:40 PM from United States

The real question is:

Is the girl in that commercial a major hottie now? She’s prolly in her late twenties early thirties by now.

Posted by on 11/30/05 at 02:44 PM from United States

Let’s hope Coke doesn’t decide to dig up that annoying ass “Teach the World to Sing” drock.

Posted by on 11/30/05 at 03:51 PM from United States

i just saw one of the new coke polar bear ones [which was nice, except for how polar bears’ and penguins’ habitats don’t so much overlap]. then i watched some adult swim i taped a coupla years ago and saw the old, original polar bears. they looked like ass.

Posted by HARLEY on 11/30/05 at 05:31 PM from United States

...I’m sorry, but did you just curse in the language of Farscape?

YES, TBS is running the show again and i once again have been sucked into that show, god i love it......
Its funny as hell…
Frell this, dren taht… LOL

Posted by HARLEY on 11/30/05 at 05:34 PM from United States

Harely in insane

Oh its HARLEY....

I am not! i have the papers to prove it..... just don’t look to hard at the dr.’s signiture.....

Coffee suck god its nasty, i prefer hot tea.. very strong, I’m a “civilized man”, not no coffee swilling barbarian!! LOL

Posted by InsipiD on 11/30/05 at 06:07 PM from United States

A little off subject, but one of my favorite commercials to love-hate right now is the Charmin one that runs on the radio during the talkers.  It has a crappy, cheerful tune which includes the line “there’s enough Charmin here for a bear in the woods!” Considering bears’ near legendary abilities to shit in the woods, and wiping with rabbits…

It gets a snicker every single time.

Posted by HARLEY on 11/30/05 at 06:28 PM from United States

the version i heard it was a squril…

Posted by on 11/30/05 at 06:42 PM from United States

If a bear shits in the woods and nobody is there to hear it, does it make a sound?

Posted by HARLEY on 11/30/05 at 06:57 PM from United States

only if you are downwind…

Posted by Brian at Tomfoolery on 11/30/05 at 09:47 PM from United States

You want to kill yourself?  How about watching “CH-CH-CHIA!” all day?  What about “Clap On...Clap Off?”

Posted by InsipiD on 12/01/05 at 04:51 AM from United States

You want to kill yourself?  How about watching “CH-CH-CHIA!” all day?  What about “Clap On...Clap Off?”

Or the insufferable duo of John Basedow and Billy Mays.

Posted by on 12/01/05 at 06:58 AM from United States

Or the insufferable duo of John Basedow and Billy Mays.

Oooohhh.....Fitness Celebrities.  I wonder if Lee would starfuck either of those two?

And speaking of resurrections, anyone see the old-assed Orville Redenbacher’s commercial they exhumed?  “Mine pops up lighter and fluffier than the other brand” BAM!  .45 to the knees.

Next entry: Warm Up the Chair

Previous entry: The Golden Years

<< Back to main