Right Thinking From The Left Coast
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. - George Burns

Lay Down With Dogs
by Lee

We haven’t had a good “man fucked to death by horse” story in a while, so here’s a “man raped by dog” one to tide you over.

“A drunk who claimed he had been raped by a dog was yesterday jailed for 12 months by a judge. Martin Hoyle, 45, was arrested by police after a passing motorist and his girlfriend found a Staffordshire bull terrier, called Badger, having sex with him at the side of a road in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire.

Prosecutor Ben Crosland said the couple had stopped to help because they thought Hoyle was being attacked by the animal. But when they got closer they saw that he had his trousers round his ankles, was down on all fours and the dog was straddling him from behind.

“The defendant mumbled something about the dog having taken a liking to him,” said Mr Crosland. “The couple were extremely offended and sickened by what they saw.” Another passing motorist contacted the police and Hoyle was arrested as he walked with the dog down the road.

Hoyle, of East view, Marsh, Huddersfield, told police “I can’t help it if the dog took a liking to me. He tried to rape me.”

He repeated the rape allegation at the police station and added “The dog pulled my trousers down.” Hoyle, who has had a long-standing alcohol problem, was jailed for 12 months after he admitted committing an act which outraged public decency.

His barrister said Hoyle had no memory of the incident because of his drunken state, but was now very remorseful and incredibly embarrassed.

Jailing him, Judge Alistair McCallum told Hoyle “Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway. Frankly it is beyond most of our comprehension. It is an absolutely disgusting thing for members of the public to have to witness

The Swedish government immediately offered Hoyle citizenship.

Posted by Lee on 10/31/05 at 04:23 PM (Discuss this in the forums)

Comments


Posted by on 10/31/05 at 06:04 PM from United States

Christ, that’s just sick.

Posted by West Virginia Rebel on 10/31/05 at 06:04 PM from United States

So that’s what AC/DC meant when they sang “Given The Dog A Bone...”

Posted by on 10/31/05 at 06:04 PM from United States

Funny, but sick.

Posted by chanoc on 10/31/05 at 06:14 PM from United States

Your honor, I was drunk and it was late and I thought the dog was Nancy Pelosi.  When she showed me her schlong, it was too late!

Posted by Drumwaster on 10/31/05 at 06:14 PM from United States

So that’s what AC/DC meant when they sang “Given The Dog A Bone...”

Not actually, but you should re-read the story. The dog was “on top”, so to speak.

I wonder if he got a reach-around…

Posted by on 10/31/05 at 06:20 PM from United States

A drunk who claimed he had been raped by a dog was yesterday jailed for 12 months by a judge

The Judge believed the Dog’s defense. “He wanted it” said the Dog. “He kept waiving that box of snausages around, he knew what he was getting into. He kept making these double entendres about Milk Bones and smelling my rear end....there was only way for this to end.”

Posted by on 10/31/05 at 06:21 PM from United States

“Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway

Umm, exactly how many times does this usually come up before a judge in his/her career?

Posted by on 10/31/05 at 06:34 PM from United States

Well,Spoony,it would seem that most of these cases are involuntary.Or at least they happen out of the public eye.What frightens me is that it won’t be too long before there is a website dedicaated to this,oh wait,Kos already has a site.Sorry.

Posted by on 10/31/05 at 06:41 PM from United States

In my long history of drunken tomfoolery, I have NEVER been drunk enough for a dog to remove my pants (How the hell the dog accomplished this w/o opposable thumbs is beyond me) and get busy. Lucky for him this wasn’t a Muslim country or he would be killed for being gay. I mean hey, it was a male dog.

The dog of course as the “giver of the bone” would not be considered gay and would be free to go home and slap his bitch around.

Posted by HARLEY on 10/31/05 at 10:00 PM from United States

Just when i think the world cant get more fucked up...............

Posted by on 11/01/05 at 11:03 AM from Canada

Lucky for him this wasn’t a Muslim country or he would be killed for being gay. I mean hey, it was a male dog.

The article never said the dog was male; it could have had a strap on. 

You know he’s done this before, because it can take days - weeks to properly train a dog to sit and stay.  This is a much more complicated set of commands.

If he goes to Sweden, is he a political refugee.  Only evil Americans would persecute a man for expressing his love.  I blame George W. Bush for the closed mindedness of the government in this situation.

Posted by on 11/01/05 at 11:06 AM from Canada

I guess I should read the full article before commenting.  Seems he’s from England.  I still blame George W. Bush and America.  It’ just trendy to blame GW and Americal.  No need for a reason.

Posted by on 11/01/05 at 04:57 PM from United States

Why do they hate us? 

Any more questions as to WHY the muslims hate westerners?  This guy would have been stoned to death.  And, his mother, wife and sisters raped by a sanctioned gang for his atrocities.

That’s why they hate all westerners.  We simply don’t understand justice.  Now, meet BenDover.

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