Right Thinking From The Left Coast
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The Beer of Court Jesters

So Obama has his beer meeting with Officer Crowley and Professor Gates (and, in a very dangerous move, Joe Biden).  I didn’t expect any racial problems to be solved, but looking over the reports I have to say:  What.  The.  Hell.

The four drank out of beer mugs. Mr. Obama had a Bud Lite, Sergeant Crowley had Blue Moon, Professor Gates drank Sam Adams Light and Mr. Biden, who does not drink, had a Buckler nonalcoholic beer. (Mr. Biden put a lime slice in his beer. Sergeant Crowley, for his part, kept with Blue Moon tradition and had a slice of orange in his drink.)

I have to agree with Sullum.  Crowley is the only one in the crowd with taste.

As for Obama’s selection of Bud Light, this has to rank as one of his worst decisions since taking office, somewhere between the stimulus package and the auto industry bailout. Regular Budweiser is bad enough. When you have a beer that already tastes like water, why would you add more water to it? And the less said about Biden and his Buckler, the better. In yet another example of the blatant misrepresentations for which the Times is notorious, Asimov erroneously reports that “Joe Biden, who joined the other three, enjoyed a nonalcoholic brew called Buckler.”

You will know a man by what he drinks.  Our late-lamented Lee, for example, was a Jack Daniels man.  ‘Nuf ‘ced.

Although I don’t drink very much, I tend to like a little bit of everything—I’m comfortable with Jack and I’m comfortable with Glenlivet; I can drink Guinness or I can drink Corona.  I’m happy with a $10 bottle of Rosemont Shiraz and I’m happy with a $50 bottle of something French I can’t pronounce.

The one thing I won’t drink is lite beer.  To quote Monty Python, I’d have sex in a canoe if I wanted something fucking close to water.  Forget Marxist leanings or birther conspiracy theories.  Do we really want one of “those”—lite-beer drinkers—in the White House?

This is a problem.  Come on, Barack.  I can respect your Veep for being a teetotaler (note to readers: this may be the last time I respect Joe Biden).  I can ... understand ... the Bud Choice since it’s a harmless domestic choice that won’t offend anyone and is manufactured in a swing state.

But be a fucking man.  What’s the worst that happens if you have a real beer?  You pass out drunk, Biden takes over and gets us into a war with China, India and Russia at the same time.  Is that worse than looking like a pussy on a national stage?

Anyway, an alcohol thread is a great way to kick off the weekend.  Talk about any aspect of the blessed C2-H5-OH you want.  But your first sentence should be what beer you would have with the President (remember the Secret Service will jump on you before you can throw it in his face).  I personally would have had a Guinness, while I still have to scratch to afford beer.

And possibly a hip flask in case we got into policy.

Posted by Hal_10000 on 07/31/09 at 11:44 AM in Decline of Western Civilization • Permalink


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