Right Thinking From The Left Coast
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. - George Burns

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Stripfried and Royccordian

The animal park’s tiger magic was no match for the Canadian’s dragon magic.

A stripper mauled by a tiger in an Ontario safari park has won C$800,000 (341, 560 pounds) in damages because her scars meant she could no longer work, Canadian media say.

Jennifer-Anne Cowles was driving through the park nearly nine years ago with her then boyfriend when a tiger jumped into their car and tried to drag them away. The two insisted their windows had been shut when the tiger charged, although the park had challenged that.

The judge accepted on Friday the couple’s testimony that the power windows had been inadvertently lowered when one of the big cats bumped against the car, frightening them.

In a ruling delivered on Thursday and reported in a number of Canadian newspapers, Justice Jean MacFarland said she could only imagine the “stark terror experienced by these young people during this horrendous event.”

She awarded Cowles over C$800,000 in damages, almost half of it to compensate for income she would have made as a stripper.

Her musician boyfriend, David Balac, won C$1.7 million, because his injuries left him unable to work as an accordion player.

This, of course, begs a couple of questions.  The first is, how the hell would anyone who was a professional accordion player ever, in their entire life, make $1.7 million?  And the second, did the court take into acount the stripper’s diminishing earning ability as she aged?  If you are calculating her lifetime earning ability as a stripper, the more thing start to sag and go soft the less she’ll be able to earn.  A 22 year old stripper makes a hell of a lot more money than one at 36.

And, on a side note, I apologize for the title to this post, which could possibly be the worst one I have ever come up with.

Posted by Lee on 01/28/05 at 05:23 PM in Those Wacky Canadians • Permalink


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